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Friday, December 15 2017 @ 06:44 PM EST
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PARENT - Job Description

Jokes

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!

 

POSITION : Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

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The Job - Urine Test

JokesLike a lot of folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.
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The Pope Dies

JokesThe Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pore over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original script.
All of a sudden there is a scream in the library.
The angels come running to him, only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, crying to himself, and muttering, "An 'R'! They left out the 'R'."
God takes him aside, offering comfort and asks him what the problem is. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "It's the letter 'R' ... the word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"
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Learn Chinese

JokesLearn Chinese in 5 minutes .......................(You MUST read them aloud to learn) .

English - to - Chinese

That's not right! --- Sum Ting Wong
Are you harbouring a fugitive? --- Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me ASAP --- Kum Hia Nao
Stupid Man --- Dum Fa Ker
Small Horse --- Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? --- Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table! --- Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni
I think you need a face lift! --- Chin Tu Fat
It's very dark in here! --- Wai So Dim
I thought you were on a diet! --- Wai Yu Mun Ching
This is a tow away zone! No Pah King
Our meeting is scheduled for next week! --- Wai Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight --- Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile --- Wa Shing Ka
Your body odour is offensive --- Yu Stin Ki Pu
Great --- Fa Kin Su Pa


PASS IT ALONG. DON'T LAUGH BY YOURSELF!
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An Italian Boy's Confession

JokesMy mother is Italian so I enjoyed this one...

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.
Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or
later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Joey Pagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

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